I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
