If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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