Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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