i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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