Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
