I want to stick my p in your. b.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
