No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
