Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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