hell yes lets make some ravioli
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize