she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This house was built for laser tag.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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