I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
