Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
