i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
