the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize