I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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