Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
