I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
