Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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