I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
