real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
