His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
