3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am one with the molecules
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
