He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize