if i can run in heels then i can drive
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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