i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
