If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
