He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
