I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
