Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
