these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
