there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
