My nipple is on Facebook.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize