i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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