I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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