i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
