i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Please, let me fuck your mom
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
