She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
