so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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