I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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