look no pants
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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