I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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