Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
