I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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