This is not my ceiling
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
