you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
