Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
