who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
