i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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