My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
