i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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