is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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