Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize