I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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