That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
