what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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