Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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