Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
