Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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